The shock therapy really didn't do what we had hoped that it would. It has helped increase his appetite and he is sleeping better, but no real change in his depression. I have a hard time telling when he is depressed as he hides it so well. But he'll tell his home health nurse that it is a 6 on a 1 to 10 scale. And it just floors me. Because he doesn't seem that down. He's not crying as much as he was, but he's still saying he is that down. And then when I asked him about why I can't see it, he accused me of saying he was lying. What! Anyways, I have a hard time with that.
He is now seeing a home health nurse to monitor his blood pressure, his moods and his weight. He will be seeing an occupational therapist, a speech therapist and a social worker for the next couple of months. So, hopefully, he'll start to benefit from these people. They all have been really nice and caring people, and very thorough. So I feel comfortable for Teresa, Pam, Choya and I don't know who the speech pathologist will be to be here working with my Sweetieface.
As for me, I still stress out about money. My hours being cut back didn't help, but I feel more hopeful about things. Joanie got my medicine back started and is checking into Medicaid and Choya said there maybe a couple of programs that will help financially, so things are looking up. And I'm placing it ALL in God's hands and leaving it there. God has sustained us so far and will continue to love us and bless us.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Heart Confusion
I'll catch everybody up on Boyce in a few days. I just had to write about this to maybe clear my heart and mind about it.
Have you ever had to humble yourself? I did this week and it was hard, unbelievably hard. I was accused some time back as being 'PROUD' It took me many long hard years to feel proud of myself. but apparently it's a bad thing: to be proud. It is extremely hard for me to ask for help. any kind of help But this week, I was telling a lady that I worked with about 15 years ago and we see each other at Wal-Mart when she shops fairly often and chitchat while she's there, but not really a friend, about what a rough time we are having. I was off for 2 months taking care of Boyce while he had his shock therapy and obviously wasn't getting paid for it. I even dropped my health insurance, because I knew I wouldn't be able to pay the premiums, but when I came back to work, they dunned my check. Well, come to find out, I have to pay my premiums until the first of the year and then it drops. So I worked last week and this week for free. I was so upset, because we only had $173.00 in the bank, still have a pile of bills, and no expectation of any money coming in. So I was telling her about it. And she casually said "I have a hundred dollar bill that you can have" and I said 'No, I couldn't do that' so we hugged and I thanked her for the thought, went back to work and she went on her way. Five minutes later, she came back with tears in her eyes and said "God told me that I can't leave Wal-Mart until I give this to you. I'll just blow it and you really need it. I can't go unless you take this. So I took it and just bawled like a baby. I had to leave the store and go outside to cry. God is awesome and Robin must have been his angel that night. But it changed my spirit. humbling myself and I know God wants us to be humble, but it was so so hard. life changing really
Have you ever had to humble yourself? I did this week and it was hard, unbelievably hard. I was accused some time back as being 'PROUD' It took me many long hard years to feel proud of myself. but apparently it's a bad thing: to be proud. It is extremely hard for me to ask for help. any kind of help But this week, I was telling a lady that I worked with about 15 years ago and we see each other at Wal-Mart when she shops fairly often and chitchat while she's there, but not really a friend, about what a rough time we are having. I was off for 2 months taking care of Boyce while he had his shock therapy and obviously wasn't getting paid for it. I even dropped my health insurance, because I knew I wouldn't be able to pay the premiums, but when I came back to work, they dunned my check. Well, come to find out, I have to pay my premiums until the first of the year and then it drops. So I worked last week and this week for free. I was so upset, because we only had $173.00 in the bank, still have a pile of bills, and no expectation of any money coming in. So I was telling her about it. And she casually said "I have a hundred dollar bill that you can have" and I said 'No, I couldn't do that' so we hugged and I thanked her for the thought, went back to work and she went on her way. Five minutes later, she came back with tears in her eyes and said "God told me that I can't leave Wal-Mart until I give this to you. I'll just blow it and you really need it. I can't go unless you take this. So I took it and just bawled like a baby. I had to leave the store and go outside to cry. God is awesome and Robin must have been his angel that night. But it changed my spirit. humbling myself and I know God wants us to be humble, but it was so so hard. life changing really
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